Sons

I spent the day off island visiting my mother. No appointments, no grocery shopping, no agenda other than catching up and having lunch together. I straightened up some things in her apartment and read her my latest Working Waterfront column. She knows the people to whom I refer and the island is a place she misses a lot. She is the person who first taught me about birds and familiarized me with the little blue Peterson’s Guide, so I know she liked hearing the parts about recent bird traffic on the island, too.

I came home to an empty house. Bruce left this afternoon to attend the  Canadian/US Lobstermen’s Town Meeting, in St. John, New Brunswick, sponsored by the Lobster Institute. I usually savor time alone in our house, and so does Bruce. It’s rare that we are both away, in different locations, at the same time, but tomorrow I am going to Rockland  for a weekend class in glass bead making at Playing With Fire. I won’t have even 24 hours by myself, and instead of savoring it I am actually feeling a little lonely. I am someone who craves time alone, rarely goes to someone’s house just to “stop by for a visit,” and dreads talking on the phone. Lonely is not a word I ever use to describe my feelings. So, tonight feels unfamiliar.

As I wondered what to post on my blog, I looked over some of my older photos. What really kept jumping out at me were the pictures of our sons, Robin and Fritz. It struck me how very much I miss them tonight. They are grown men, (grown island boys) living in cities, with wonderful women who love them. They like their jobs and they are competent and successful in them. All is as it should be and just as I would have wished for them. And here I am, taking some time to miss them and to feel lucky and grateful that I will always be their mom.

Robin and his fianceé Stephanie in Napa.

 

Fritz and Meghan last summer in our kitchen.

 

Boys being boys in Baltimore.

7 Comments

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7 responses to “Sons

  1. They’re so handsome! I see the likeness of you in them. Love the image of your mom teaching you about birds; that’s good stuff. How ironic that you’re feeling the empty nest. You’ve clearly done a good job as their mama.

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    • Barb Fernald

      Hmmm…interesting observation about the empty nest. Everything seems to be bird related for me lately.
      Yes, I agree. They are handsome boys. I can’t take much credit for that, other than to say they had a successful swim through the gene pool! I have loved being a mom and they really are wonderful guys. I’m really looking forward to being a grandmother someday. Though, when the time comes I’ll be holding my breath because, when I used to get annoyed with them when they were little, I told them I wished they would be “blessed” with triplet daughters!

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      • oooo triplet daughters! that would be great! maia and i could move in with whichever unsuspecting son has them and be their baby nannies!!!!
        they are lovely boys (men, of course, but they’re your boys)…i’ve seen quite a few pictures of them and don’t really think of them as looking a lot alike, but DANG that last picture really highlights their twinness.

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  2. crnbrycst

    Great pictures Barb, and I’ve felt the same as you were feeling many times. I can’t tell if looking at pictures brings it on, or when it comes, it leads me to pictures. Whatever, We both have 2 great sons!

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  3. Sally Anderson

    You have very handsome sons and I found it interesting (and wonderful) that you never referred to them as the twins. I thought looking at them that surely they must be twins; they look so much alike. But it wasn’t until reading the comments here that it was confirmed they are. I find that unusual and really great that you treat them as individual boys instead of “the twins” — a matched set. Most people aren’t so enlightened in my experience!

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    • Barb Fernald

      Thank you Sally. I feel very lucky to have such wonderful sons. Do you have twins? Or are you a twin? From your comments it sounds like there is a connection. I don’t think I’ve ever referred to them as “the twins.” At least I tried never to do it.

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